Padre’s Corner: Managing the “heat” in summer
By Padre Lt(N) Graeme Carruth,
Chaplain, BAdm
Over the last several weeks we’ve been treated (subjected?) to the heat of summer. For many, it has been a challenge to find ways to stay cool. Thankfully, even if we don’t have air conditioning, we have lovely beaches in the province and usually a cooler breeze after sundown. But physical temperature is not the only “heat” we can feel at this time of year. Sometimes we can find ourselves “overheating” with emotion when life throws us a curve. Maybe something we can’t understand happens at work, or the kids are doing ‘that thing’ again! Most of us can fill in the blank with something that spikes our blood pressure or gets us hot under the collar.
Before the heat of the moment becomes a burn that can ruin an otherwise good day, it might be helpful to try a bit of emotional sunscreen to help us through. We’ve all probably heard of a few things or maybe come up with some strategies ourselves but here are a few I like to use that have saved my buns from being overcooked.
The easiest strategy for me is probably to glue my mouth shut. Just imagining myself with a mouthful of a thick peanut butter sandwich that prevents me from opening to say anything, especially the wrong thing, has kept me from leaping from the frying pan to the fire. Of course, if peanut butter isn’t a good image for you, maybe try using toffee instead. Either way, finding a way to say nothing in the hot moment gives a chance for sober second thought to kick in – enough time to cool down and choose more helpful words.
Finding humor in stressful situations can also be helpful. I knew someone who mastered this skill. He once described being on a bus in a hurry when it hit a low bridge, damaging the roof. Amid the chaos, another passenger screamed, “Oh my God, it’s going to blow up!” This absurd reaction made him burst into laughter, easing the tension. When things get heated, a good sense of humor can be like a cooling sprinkler system.
A final one, that has often helped with the kids, is the adage, “there’s always at least three sides to the story: child A’s, child B’s and the truth.” When the kids are arguing or just trying to push my buttons, I remind myself that I’m the adult and don’t need to get drawn into their game. Before reacting, I take a moment to assess the situation, no matter how annoyed I am. This might also be a good opportunity for the kids to learn coping or negotiating skills as they work out their problems on their own.
While none of these are the final answer to all problems, I’ve found them to be strategies that can help keep potentially hot situations from boiling over, so we can all enjoy the warmth of summer.
Have a wonderful summer – from all of us at your Halifax Chaplain team!
